Between us: a (brief) history of the Delta V atelier
From being an aerospace engineer to creating a haute couture workshop: the story of how I exited a deep burn-out and the birth of my atelier created to empower who you are.
A LITTLE BACKGROUND
Since always i’ve gravitated towards art. In a beautiful, balanced form. I’m drawn towards beauty and the need to create is there, every single day, since I was only a little girl.
Since I can remember, i’ve always created art for my family a friends: aquarelle paintings, cardboard stuff, clay figures, but mainly couture and jewelry.
At high school, I pursued the scientific path. I didn’t follow the artistic path since rationally it was not the option that payed best. Fear made me not even consider it an option.
Besides, I’ve always loved science and the universe, so… that was my choice: aerospace engineering. And don’t get me wrong: i loved it, despite being insanely hard and tough. I even moved to France to carry on my studies, to keep that scientific road, and it led me to earn my PhD in that field.
After that, it was time to get to work as an engineer. I could just keep on my life as an engineer and play around with arts in my leisure time. It seemed a good balance, a “happy ever after”, right?
Well, that was when reality quicks in. Or the theory overridden by the practice.
HAPPY EVER AFTER?
What seemed to be the perfect job ended up in being my golden cage. The real work experience was no pleasure. There was no true meaning in what I was doing, I just felt that I was a robot, not a person, not feeling fulfilled. And the environment made me feel very much so. Just working, without emotions. And more and more, because nothing seemed to be enough.
I felt that I didn’t fit in, feeling a stranger in “my engineering world”.
I struggled like crazy, because I was never part of the group. There was an invisible glass wall that prevented me of being part of the group. No mattered how hard I tried. I always felt different and not welcome.
During months, I remembered coming to work and saying Good morning, and not speak during the rest of the day until I had to leave and say Good evening. Isolation is a dangerous weapon. Not only I was feeling alone, but also not worth it.
Months passed by in these dynamics, degrading my mental health, since my performance kept the same rythm as my motivation: free-falling.
And then I would come back home after a daywork, cry and do my little crafts to release just a little pressure and breathing for an instant… until the next day.
Little by little I was spiraling out of control without being conscious. And little by little too i started lacking confidence. And self-esteem. If i couldn’t make it work, there must be something wrong with me, right?
Everyone else seemed to have it right, to be part of the group, to be happy in that place. So i must be the flawed one. Really, what was wrong with me? Why couldn’t I figure it out?
On the paper, i had the theoretical recipe to be successful and have a life that is just fine. I mean, I’m literally a rocket scientist (satellite engineer to be precise, but you get the point), how is it possible that I cannot figure this out?
This spiral worsened day after day, and it led me to serious mental health issues.
I couldn’t find joy in anything, even the things that I truly loved: arts, dancing, cooking… And the sadness was so profound that one of my friends literally told me: either you call your doctor or I will do it myself.
And that was it. Burn-out.
HEALING FROM A BURN-OUT
I was left with nothing but my hands. Literally. My brain felt burnt, useless. I guess that’s why it’s called burn-out. I didn’t feel anything but sadness and anxiety. I needed medication for a whole year. So that was me: my pills and my hands. And one of them healed me. Guess which one? A hint: it was not the pills.
The art that my hands managed to do helped me. And the support from family and friends, which was and still is priceless.
My doctor told me to do lots and lots of creative activities. I then learned that creativity helps reconstruct the gray matter of the brain, which can almost disappear after a burn-out.
At that time I only did jewellery, but it felt like fresh air.
And each time I would go out, I would put a couple of my earrings, and it felt so comforting to receive compliments and beautiful words about them.
These moments literally made my days. And made me feel that I was able to do something nice, it was a little band-aid for what I felt was my broken soul.
BACK TO ZERO
At that point I felt in my gut that I needed to take action or I would face the consequences. So I started to figure out how to balance my life with my engineering job and my passion for crafts. I created Delta V, did all the foundations setup for this business.
But keeping my engineering job was not helping to fully recover. I was still in the same company, doing more or less the same job, in almost the same circumstances that led to the burn-out.
If I have learned anything so far, is that after a burn-out you do really need to quit that job, in that company. There’s no way back to happiness if nothing changes.
THE SCARY JUMP TO ANOTHER LIFE
Quitting my job to follow my passion.
That was the true wayforward, the knowledge that only comes after a deep insight (oh, and 4 years of therapy by the way, must not neglect it).
I promise that this decision is the hardest, most frightening of my life. What if it doesn’t work? What if I end up in this situation again? Will I have the stability I was searching for?
The answer: no one knows until you try it.
YOU ARE NOT BORN TO FIT IN, YOU ARE BORN TO STAND OUT
When I look back, I realize that trying to blend in with the engineering environment was useless and an energy sink. In my circumstances trying to blend in was equivalent to saying NO to what makes me special and unique. I learned that the hard way.
“When a flower doesn’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows, not the flower”, Alexander Den Heijer.
That is what I did. I changed my environment, I said YES to who I truly am, I set free my inner artist that was neglected under the weight of trying to be “just like everyone else”.
As Seuss puts it: you’re not born to fit it in, you’re born to stand out.
DELTA V: THE EMOTION THAT EMPOWERS YOU
And that’s what this is all about, Delta V.
It’s to say YES to the individual you are. With your flaws and everything. Delta V wants to give you back that same energy boost I felt when I said yes to myself and no to being just one more in the system.
Delta V is all about celebrating who you are as a person.
Delta V is the emotion that empowers you when you decide to truly be yourself, to trust your gut and have no regrets.
Delta V is the feeling of taking the reins of your life and feeling confident. Because those moments of pure force are the ones that we never regret.
Delta V Creations was born to make you feel confident, the same way I felt when I was in the deep burn-out and people “simply” complimented my earrings. Those moments made me feel empowered and the energy lift I felt made me forget for a second that I had lost hope.
My atelier exists because it is necessary to give power to self-expression.
Now i truly believe in the power of being your true self.
The one who wakes up and smiles to the reflection in the mirror. That fire that we all have inside but we’re too afraid to show up because of what others might think. That fire, that inner wisdom should be the fuel that makes us wake up every morning.
In my atelier i only work on the outer shell. But it’s only the first step of feeling absolutely wonderful. It’s the spark that can ignite the whole machine of acceptance, empowerment and confidence.
The wow! effect happens because there’s already a light within you. My embroideries or jewellery just give you that extra layer to start with, the ON button. But the shine comes from you, not from the sequins or crystals I may have crafted for you. I just give you the means to realize how amazing and wonderful you are.
And it can very well start with a compliment such as “oh, that pair of earrings is just incredible”.
And yes, give yourself credit for having chosen them.
Go out there and shine bright
♡
Delta V creations
What if it all started with a simple pair of earrings?
Exclusive creations that tell a story: yours.
EPILOGUE
Even if this business never takes off, at least I will never ever regret having tried.
Because I would have had daily reminders of that dream of mine and never taking action to make it come true. I know I would have hated myself for that.
I could never quit this job. Because it’s not a job, it’s a passion. And it will haunt me day in and day out, there is no way out.
So let’s just embrace it, in the end that is who I am.
